3 ‘Little-Known’ Lessons the Summer Solstice Offers About Relationships

Holden QiGong
4 min readJun 28, 2022

For thousands of years, cultures around the world have celebrated the summer solstice.

According to Chinese Medicine and Qi Gong, the natural world holds immense wisdom that you can channel in your own life. When it comes to relationships, the summer solstice embodies the perfect energies to help your connections with loved ones flourish.

The season of summer is connected to the Fire Element and the Heart. Because the summer solstice is the peak of summer, it’s the day when the Fire Element is most abundant in the natural world.

The Fire Element fuels the emotions of love, joy, and connection to others. When the Fire Element is strong within you, it’s easier to experience deep and fulfilling relationships. Therefore, the summer solstice is a wonderful time to cultivate these qualities in your own life.

In this blog, we discuss three lessons that the summer solstice offers about relationships. Follow these simple yet powerful principles to experience more love, joy, and gratitude with the people you care about the most.

1. Focus On The Positive Qualities In Others To Cultivate Gratitude

There’s a saying in Qi Gong, “Qi flows where the mind goes.” In other words, the thoughts and perceptions that you pay attention to become stronger over time. More than likely, you’ve heard the analogy of the gardener with the watering bucket. The seeds in a garden that get watered grow. Those that don’t, perish.

When you focus on the positive qualities of others, you’re able to cultivate deeper and more joyful connections that lead to closeness and trust. The counterintuitive bit of this is by paying attention to others’ positive qualities, those qualities can become stronger in both of you.

Sometimes, it’s easy to see others’ virtues. For example, if a friend offers you help or support, you might naturally experience feelings of appreciation. However, at other times, it might not be quite as easy to notice their kindness.

Qi Flows Where the Mind Goes

Just like the mind tends to focus on negative thoughts that cause stress, it can also have a tendency to pay attention to the ‘negative’ qualities more than the positive. Therefore, it’s important to be aware of what you’re focusing on. If you find yourself getting frustrated with someone you care about, take a step back and find one quality about them that you truly appreciate.

By making an intentional effort to look for the best in others, you’re able to spend more time enjoying the qualities that you appreciate.

Looking for the best in others naturally leads you to experience more gratitude. In turn, gratitude makes relationships richer and more fulfilling. When you experience gratitude for others, it reflects that you recognize the gifts that they have to offer. That allows you to enjoy them more fully. When someone feels grateful for you, there’s a sense of ‘being seen’ for who you are. In either case, gratitude is a potent energy that elevates your Heart Qi.

2. Create Experiences That Nourish Your Connections

Just as it’s a good idea to be intentional with your perception, it’s also important to make conscious choices about how you spend your time with those you care about.

When you engage in fun and rewarding activities with friends and family, your connections grow. The energy that you gain through fun experiences channels into your relationships, bringing more love and joy to your relationships.

There are many activities that can help you cultivate joy with loved ones! Hiking, dancing, playing music, and exploring new places are just a few great ways to elevate the Fire Element within yourself and others. Of course, there’s no better time than summer to create lasting memories.

To come up with your own activities, spend a few minutes to write down three to five things that you can enjoy doing. Then, circle whichever one appeals to you the most and schedule a time to do it with a small group of friends or family.

3. Share How You Feel, Even When It Isn’t Easy

Focusing on others’ positive qualities and cultivating gratitude can go a long way, but sometimes it’s important to also face the thorns in relationships.

Without acknowledging difficult feelings, they can have a tendency to smolder inside you. Unfortunately, that can lead to resentment, which often gets expressed in unhealthy ways. To avoid that situation, it’s typically best to share how you truly feel in an honest and respectful way.

Your Heart and Fire Element thrives when you’re able to express yourself in an authentic manner. If you feel upset, try to verbalize how you feel in a way that is true, while also not blaming or disrespecting the other person. For example, if you say something like, “when such and such happened, I felt [fill in the blank]” it allows the other person to understand how you feel. It also helps them not feel like you’re trying to blame them. When others’ can sense that your intentions are genuinely constructive, conversations generally go in a positive direction. This allows both individuals to share openly, helping to build trust and closeness.

Elevate Your Relationships This Summer Season…

Elevating your relationships with others starts with elevating your relationship with yourself. When you have an abundance of Qi in your Heart, it’s easier to connect with your loved ones more deeply.

In our on-demand Qi Gong for Summer Workshop, Lee teaches a variety of powerful practices designed to elevate the Fire Element within your Heart to cultivate joy, love, and connection in your relationships with others, as well as in your life as a whole.

Because this is an on-demand workshop, you can enjoy it whenever you want from the comfort of your own home. Learn more to discover how Qi Gong can help experience more inspiration and love this summer season.